Taking on adulthood!
March 27th 2011 19:31
I have a distinct memory of being 14-years-old and watching my big sister turn, overnight, into an adult.
It seemed surreal at the time. After all, I had memory upon memory stored in my brain of acting like kids with my sister. I remember playing dress up and making "amusement parks" for caterpillars in the backyard. I remember always having to take on the role of Dr. Robotnik whenever we played Sonic, while my sister and her friends got to embody the more glamorous parts of Sonic and Amy Rose. I could recall building forts for our Beanie Babies, and being told nasty white lies that the Boogie Man would come out from under the bed and devour me if I didn't let her sleep on the side of the bed that she preferred.
And then, all of the sudden, she was turning 18, and it seemed like a chasm was opening up between us.
As I write this column, I too am preparing to embark through this threshold into adulthood. My days as an official child are numbered. I am beyond excited, and yet I am somehow equally, absolutely and impenetrably petrified. As I prepare myself to bid farewell to the sweet and carefree days of childhood, I know I will soon be facing the big decisions and all the newly adopted maturity that come with adulthood, and my emotions are undoubtedly going haywire.
Part of me is wishing desperately to cling onto any remnants of my childhood that I can. Some days, I wake up in the morning and envision attending my old middle school classes, (this fantasy has been rendered a little easier due to certain circumstances this year). On these days, I spend a lot of time thinking about how great it was to be a kid. I'll remember doing all the silly things that I couldn't get away with at the age of 17 or 18, like chalking enormous stories and pictures on the sidewalk outside for hours, or playing make-believe until bed-time.
I recently discovered some old diaries that I kept in younger years, and after I put them down, I felt like I was back in that old mind-set. It was weird seeing on paper the way I used to think. All my old mannerisms and habits came at me at lightning speed. It was a bizarre experience. Regardless, I don't know how ready I am to officially let go of it all.
Another part of me is so excited to finally become an adult. It's exhilarating to think about the privileges of being a legal "grown-up." I'll be given the freedom to vote, and I won't have to get my parents to sign anymore waivers or permission slips. That concept in itself is a little scary, but I'm exited nonetheless. I'm anticipating a lot more freedom with my fast-approaching adulthood, and a lot more responsibility, (again- a frightening notion).
Whether or not I'm actually ready to become a legal adult, there's not much I can do about it. That's the unfortunate thing about time: It doesn't care about how you feel. It'll keep happening, every second of every day, whether or not you ask it to stop and slow down. There are no rewind or fast-forward buttons, despite how convenient the concept may seem at times. Maybe it will take a while for me to get used to the idea of being an adult. I certainly don't feel like an adult yet. Then again, I'm not exactly sure what that feeling is. I could always just start engaging in more adult-like activities in order to further the procedure, like joining a book club or developing a caffeine addiction...
Nah. I think I'll allow my pending adulthood to be a gradual process, despite any looming birthdays with big numbers attached.
* Tess Allen is Whatever editor and a Grade 12 student at Moncton High School.
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Comment by Anonymous
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I still cannot grasp it when men call me sexy cos to me Im just a kid. I never grew up, I just got taller.
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