Do you know how to resolve family conflict?
March 30th 2007 22:04
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I guess yelling screaming and abusing each other or even hitting, kicking and being violent towards each other and especially with children cannot be regarded as a solution to solving conflict.
Round table discussions with a few ground rules set and practising some real skills in conflict resolution sounds ideal.
Personally, I think those most in need are perhaps least able to practise these measures.
However, just taking on board a few of the ideas should be achievable and beneficial.
Identifying problems, asking questions, checking understanding, giving each their fair chance for input and listening to each other's responses, moderating, not reacting defensively, finding out how each family member plans to play their part, and ensuring everyone feels they have been listened to and being assured the plans they've come up with can help everyone, is the ideal way to proceed.
Meeting again, round the table for follow up, is important.
The attached link takes one to a site which is helpful but I fear many people will not understand the implications of the words used.
For others, better informed, it will have more meaning.
My suggestion is that whoever is interested in solving family problems takes on board what they are able and does the best they can to apply the principles.
Skilled counselling is, of course, another alternative but those looking for their own solutions should be able to adapt the article to their needs and understanding.
the link
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Comment by David
And get someone who has some spirit and guts ... and intestinal fortitude ... one who won't let one single family member leave the room (regardless of the shouting and abuse and dead skeleton talk ... ) .... Someone prepared to lock the door to the room and punch them all out if they dont' behave themselves ... someone patient who is prepared to wait until they all gain consciousness ... A man of virtue ... (one who has put it into practice ... Hey, I know all of the theory on this stuff ... but I'm a bit over the whole practice virtue thing ... but there are people out there who are professionals and qualified to deal with these issues ... (personally? I'm' not interested in solving family conflicts .. I didn't create mine ... I'd rather just get on with living my life and leave them all to it ... but you've posed the question so I'm giving you [off the top of my head just some random thoughts on the matter ...
Families need someone strong to come into their lives ... Someone who won't accept the BS they go on with due to their conditioning and the perpetuation of this from generation to generation because no-one is prepared to stop the rot ... Someone who will make them stay there until they all get to the point where they accept each other as human beings all worthy of love ... and never try to change anyone ever again but just accept them for who they are ... (and principally learn to love themselves ...
Love is the only medicine ... the only remedy ... (and acceptance of self and acceptance of others is a huge part of what Love intrinsically is ...
No acceptance of self? No acceptance of others? No Love basically ...
Just a few random thoughts ...
Comment by katyzzz
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But they are your thoughts and you're entitled to them.
Sounds like a lot going on behind those locked doors.
katyzzz