HORR - OR - BLE con
June 15th 2008 03:18
Signature Tune
It's really to-morrow but you'll get this before it's begun, thanks to the program that allows us to select our own publishing time.
I wanted to get in before everyone else.
I arrived a little late as it took rather a long time to don my costumes and sharpen up my axe.
But off I went hoping the traffic would not be too bad.
But, while walking along the back streets of Sydney I noticed people were clearing a path for me, I felt like royalty, but it suddenly dawned on me that it was because of the axe, so my slow pace became a fast saunter, I was on my way to join my sweet friends, having a yen to keep a close eye on Bryn, who would no doubt try to upstage my axe party trick.
I was almost at my destination when I was stopped by two policeman, no smiles on faces there.
They called me variously Sir/Madam to which I was happy to respond and asked why I was carrying a weapon.
Weapon? I enquired innocently, yes weapon, they repeated, as if I was stupid or something.
I explained that it was not a weapon but an axe, used for wood chopping and cutting down trees and I was going to a dress up party.
They raised their eyebrows and looked at me with some suspicion.
I found it very difficult to explain who I was as I had gone through two sex changes, one from me into he, and another from he into me, in drag.
They finally concluded I was quite a stupid woman and decided to let me go, accompanying me to my destination.
The music was blaring and the conversation past caring as they could not hear themselves or each other speak, anyway.
I carefully placed my axe behind the door as I was receiving some rather strange looks.
Buy you a drink darlin' ? someone shouted at me, and although I do not drink I decided on this occasion one little drinky poo wouldn't go astray, hearing the fond tones of fog.
It was bitter and I coughed and spluttered but someone took out a little pill and dropped it into my glass.
The mixture frothed and bubbled and smelt and tasted just like sherbet, those tiny bubbles bursting in my mouth and up my nose and I was really beginning to enjoy myself.
I found myself amongst a weird mob of very generous people quite a few of whom sidled up to me trying to guess my orientation. But I did not know what they were on about but continued to accept all the drinks offered and before long I was as drunk as a Lord or perhaps I should say Lady.
By this time they were all looking increasingly more and more attractive through the dim haze of the drunken stupor in which I found myself.
I cast my eyes around to try and see those representing our small cyber community, and thought I spotted Jon, he was tall and nice, and neatly but casually dressed.
The others were a scruffy looking lot with the exception of Bryn, a horrorphile anyone would be proud to know, I thought of the axe and my set task but just as I was about to join them, bearing in mind that I must be nice, I saw them passing around the plate taking up some kind of collection.
What, was not the orble party sufficiently funded to buy a few miserable drinks.
I reached in my handbag and counted out the miserable display of coins which I had borrowed from myself to represent my adcents earnings until such time as I earned my $100 and could collect.
I froze at the thought of spending those meagre earnings on drinks when the mob I was with were more than happy to buy mine for me.
Well, I've been home for some time now, it's the early hours of Monday morning and how I got home is anyone's guess.
But I forgot my axe and found out that it had been stolen.
There was only one person I knew of who would be interested in such a prop, and that was Bryn, as a photo prop for his new series, the axe murderers 111.
So, Bryn, darling, (remembering to be nice) would you please return my axe as my next door neighbour would like it returned, it was a loan not a gift, as I do not have an axe myself, and wood chopping is a skill I have never acquired.
I should add just as I left I saw Jon putting in a gold coin, which looked like a $1 as the kitty had been a bit short.
They all seemed to be having a good time being nice to one another.
But, just to be nice, I'd like to tell you about my new blogs, Jon did suggest I kept quiet about it but I wanted to share, but Sherlock Holmes, the detective will think she's ever so smart telling you all later on that these are really my blogs and I'm proud to let you know I'll be pinching the contents from all of your blogs, the ultimate form of flattery, cutting and pasting to my little heart's content.
So, with a fanfare of trumpets, here they are.
UN-popular culturist
HORR -orb-le
Cyber humour for dummies
How to be nice to attract votes
Giving Mickey the flick
Tinker Bell (aka ringing the bell)
Mysterious opportunists
but please be quiet about all this, I would not want anyone to know.
Incidentally, our esteemed Prime Minister Rudd, has directed I should undergo 'nice management counselling' and I am happy to comply
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Comment by tlcorbin
So, whatcha gonna do with the old ones? Raven
Comment by katyzzz
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Old ones - that's my business, one can share too much, oh, sorry, sweetness, your humble servant, lovely of you to ask.
I thought you might guest on one of the new ones darling, you are just SOOO clever and sweet and nice with all of those things.
Which one (of the new ones) would you like to co-host with me.
You are just so handsome and intelligent and well informed and so NICE, well most of the time.
The choice is yours, only too happy to oblige, glad you did not wimp out on me with this one.
I expect Bryn will be very worried about HORR -OR-BLE, competition, but perhaps he'll guest, he loves me just so much and he's a real sweetie, too.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by katyzzz
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Comment by Optomistic Opportunism
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Optomystic Opportunism
If I had a dollar for every time u changed your personality, I would spend more time being mysterious and less being opportunistic.
You wanna know what I say to people these days when they ask 'how are you?'
I say "I've got 99 problems and they're all women."
True to form don't you think? Unfortunately, also true in substance... now excuse me while I head out into the city to see if one of these 99 women are still interested, if not she must be replaced. Pronto.
Comment by katyzzz
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Thank you for your delightful visit.
Comment by Optomistic Opportunism
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Optomystic Opportunism
I do disagree with the slut/stud way of thinking, maybe you should write a post on it... or should I?
Comment by katyzzz
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Comment by Optomistic Opportunism
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Optomystic Opportunism